Have you ever picked out a delicious looking fruit and once you cut it, you realized it was incredibly bruised and somewhat rotten inside? That is what happens when you only exercise your body but fail to take care of your mind, emotions, mental health, in other words, your conceptual self.
Fitness is not only about nutrition and exercise routines. Fitness is not only about how you look in the outside, but also how you feel in the inside. Have you ever met a woman/man with your dream body and find them to be incredibly insecure?
This is why.
Day after day, we continue to only look at the visible part of our bodies but fail to take a look at our minds and our subconscious. Day after day, we continue to neglect the “actual thing” that determines why we do what we do.
Why do we neglect it?
Well, for the longest time I was really killing it in Yoga. I was super flexible. I was able to quiet my mind and control my breathing therefore being able to hold difficult positions for a long time. However, I wasn’t able to M E D I T A T E. In other words, I wasn’t able to sit quietly for a few minutes.
Every time I closed my eyes I was forced to face things I did not want to. We don’t tap into our subconscious because we don’t want to open our own Pandora box. We don’t want to deal with it because 99.9% of the time we aren’t prepared.
So, we sabotage ourselves in order to be right about the stories we have about ourselves:
- I am not the “sporty” type
- I’m big boned
- I hate meditation. I’m quitting yoga.
- I’m happy with being overweight b/c people see me for who I really am (I hear this one A LOT)
- You have to work out for years to see actual results
And in order to avoid failure, we don’t try or we flat out quit. This is obvious; who likes failing and looking like a fool?
Now, the real question is:
- When it comes to achieving a better health and a better body, do we really hate exercise or is it that we aren’t sure we are capable of achieving the goal and therefore we find self-sabotage an easy way out?
I get it. We all have responsibilities. Some of us have kids, some of us have businesses, school, going through a breakup, etc. But it is not about having the time, it is about making the time.
I will give you the perfect example. As I was doing research about self-sabotage, I came across a very special case. A therapist shares the case of an overweight 27 year old woman who was once his client. She refused to loose the extra pounds even after her doctor highly recommended it. Her excuse: both of her parents were obese and were still alive; never suffered from any kind of diseases. This lead her to believe she had really good genes therefore there was no need to exercise. However, the real reason behind her refusing to exercise was a very simple one:
She knew once she lost the weight and looked more “attractive”, there was going to be no excuse for her not to date. The reason she did not exercise was because she was afraid to be vulnerable with another human being. She found being overweight a great excuse as to why she was single. But in the end, she was afraid of failing at relationships.
Next time your stories make you want to shoot yourself on the foot, remember:
“I craft most of my own tragedies without ever having even the remotest understanding that it is I myself who have done the crafting.”